By James H. Blackburn, Best-selling Author, “seeds Of Intent”
In Part I of this two part article, I shared insight into the struggle created by vague definitions of success. (IF YOU HAVEN’T READ PART ONE YOU CAN READ IT HERE) In this second part, I would like to delve more deeply into why so many of us continue to hold on to our vague definitions.
The vagueness that surrounds the subject of success serves two purposes for many of us. Candidly, it keeps us in a state of denial and avoidance. Denial and avoidance you ask? Yes, a vague definition of success is a symptom of the much deeper issues of denying our true identity as well as not accepting our ultimate life purpose. Too many of us are living a rushed life and urgently getting stuff accomplished as if that’s why we are here? We are consumed with busyness and living life as we are lead to believe we should by well-meaning family, friends, educators and professional colleagues. Is this you? Well, if work-life balance is a struggle for you, if relationships at home and/or work are problematic resulting in feelings of guilt and being overwhelmed, and if you are not as happy as you would like to be, then this includes you. How are you feeling right now? Is reading this article upsetting you? If it isn’t, let’s go to avoidance.
How could vagueness about a person’s definition of success contribute to avoidance? I see it every day as I watch people blame, make excuses, justify and defend. What’s being avoided here? I would like to start with personal responsibility. That’s right. When we blame others and situations, make excuses and defend, we are avoiding personal responsibility as we deflect it onto others and/or situations. And by personal responsibility, I am defining it for the purposes of this article as being responsible for your current life situation, for creating the future you’re meant to live and for making that future a reality. This is extremely difficult for many of us as it means accepting a life full of uncertainties and no guarantees.
What else is being avoided? The ability to commit to growth where growth means becoming more as a person, embracing same things/situations differently and venturing beyond what is familiar and safe. By the way, this lack of commitment is caused by lack of trust in self.
So where to from here you may be asking? Well, that’s up to you. You can dismiss everything you have read here and continue experiencing life as you are currently. Or, you can pause and reflect on what these words mean to you and begin taking a deeper look into the whys and why not’s of your life.
Who are you? Why are you here? What is important to you? What does a meaningful and fulfilling life look like? What needs to change so that you experience more of the feelings we all long for such as being valued and cared for, calmness, peacefulness, and the fulfillment of making a difference? Finding answers to these questions and many more like them will lead you to rediscover the dreams and hope you had as a child and begin living the life you are meant to live—the life of a remarkable person who is making a difference.
The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future, both you and your future begin to change – Marilee Zdenek